Sunday, November 12, 2006

Home

Home is an interesting thing. They say home is where your heart is. As a child, it's where you live, where your family is. As an adult it changes. When I was 21 I changed where home was for me. I quit my job as a preschool teacher and made the move from Astoria Oregon ( population less than 10,000) and moved to San Jose which had a population of over 900,000. It was a huge change. I had a lot of reasons for leaving which I won't get into now, but it was time for a change. Time to step out of the familiar small town life where I knew just about everyone, and go find out who I was. I left behind my family and everyone I knew. I had a job and a place to live and that was it.

I have never regretted the decision. However, I do sometimes miss the small town life. I miss the familiar. I miss having my family close by. I miss open space. I miss the trees and the rain. I miss the slower pace. When I left, I had no intention of staying in california. I was just going off to have my own adventures and see what life had to offer. I always planned to go home before I was ready to be a "real" grown up. I assumed I'd be back home before I got married and had children. I pictured myself raising my kids in the same small town environment I was raised in.

Then I met Jeff. We got married. He was transferred even further South, to Orange County. Then we had Amelia. It was hard. I didn't have any family around to help out and just be supportive. I didn't want to raise my kid in the middle of Suburbia. I tried so hard to convince Jeff to move to the NW. I just so badly wanted something familiar. I'm glad he didn't give in, I have grown to like living in the OC. I have a great group of friends, we live in a nice little place and Jeff has a good job. This is my home now. But, it doesn't mean the other places can't be home too. I will always feel like the peninsula and Astoria are home as well.

Who knows maybe someday my daughter will go off to have her own adventures, and change her perspective on home.

2 comments:

The Guy Who Writes This said...

Astoria has changes a lot over the last 20 years I've been here. It is now a hopeful place and it looks better as well. It's coming along nicely. Fortunately there are still no Wal*Marts, Targets, or Office Depots, but there are signs that this sort of filth will hit us, too.

rayleen said...

You know, sometiems I really want to move back to OR. I'm noping it'll be within the next year or so. I'll probably move to the Willamette Valley. I really miss 'green' a lot.