Friday, March 30, 2018

I don’t feel strong.

Someone posted this video on Facebook and it made me cry. I don’t want to be in this
club.  No mom wants to be in the “sick kids” club.

As of today.

16- the number  of foods she tested positive for on allergy tests.
7- the amount of times she’s injected herself with an epipen. (It hurts. Her thigh is covered in bruises. )
6- the number of daily prescription medications she’s currently taking.
3- the number of times her school has called 911 for her.
2-3 the amount of times I generally speak to her doctor each week.
1 the number of times she was given epinephrine in the allergy department.

I hold it together and stay strong when she’s with me. But when I’m at home. And I see the school on my caller ID and they say she  just took her epipen. Someone is  on the phone with 911 right now, I lose it. I cry all the way to school.

The first time the paramedics  came she was doing great when I got there.  (Thanks to the epipens and paramedics.)  I thought I had it together.  and then I saw the fire truck. The ambulance. The principal outside waiting for me. The firemen and paramedics surrounding her and I wasn’t as calm.  She hugged me. She comforted me. Every other time I’ve got it together before I get out of the car. She’s stressed enough. She doesn’t need to worry about me too.

I

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Illness sucks.

Dear universe. I do not want to go to Kaiser tomorrow.  Like. At all. I went twice tonight. And had a phone appointment. I think I’ve been there at least once or twice every day this week. The pharmacy and lab people as well as ER nurses are starting to remember us. I know the doctors schedule and which office she’s calling from by the caller ID. She doesn’t even announce herself when she calls. I know her voice.  I’d just like one day off please. And no phone calls that the school called 911 again either. KThanksBye. #IshouldHaveMyOwnParkingSpot or they should have a frequent visitor program with the valet? Maybe a punch card? #SoNotFunnyThatItsFunny

Sunday, November 12, 2017

I’m not ready

I think you should be in prison. You gave your baby meth. And heroin. And nicotine. by choosing to use while you were pregnant she was born addicted. I know you saw her a bit when she was first born. ( you know. When  you u were fighting with your baby daddy in the hospital and you were being nasty to the nurses because they wouldnt let  you breastfeed. Because, ya know, you had just had a positive pee test for meth. That Means you used within a few days of giving birth. And your breast milk wasn’t safe. ) so by the time she was two days old you’d  already taken off from the hospital. Remember? After the nurses reported it was a domestic violence situation. They were concerned that she was  starting to withdraw and needed to go  on methadone. Because ya know heroin is a bitch  to withdraw from. Especially when you’re a newborn. But you and baby daddy said no to methadone. Because the hospital was just screwing with you. There was nothing wrong with her. You also said no vaccines. Because. Chemicals. (Drugs don’t) count I guess.

tbc...

Friday, June 12, 2015

Smores cupcakes.

Every so often someone at My house wants smores cupcakes. And every time I spend an hour tracking down the recipe. So today I'm copying and pasting directions from another blog. The original blog with the recipe is no longer up. 

marshmallow frosting (sew darn cute)
1/2-3/4 lb. (2 or 3 sticks) butter, room temperature
1 lb. (2 cups) confectioner's sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla
16 oz. tub of marshmallow cream

1. cream the butter on high until light and fluffy
2. add the confectioner's sugar, 1/4 cup at a time, and beat until fluffy each time
3. beat in the vanilla until incorporated
4. add the marshmallow fluff and mix until creamy

this came together easily. sadly, husband could only find 14 oz tubs at the store so it was not quite as marshmallow-y as it could have been. but there's no way i need 12 oz of leftover fluff in my house, as good as fluffer-nutters are...no way.

top the piped frosting with crushed grahams (i put them in the food processor until they were fine crumbs) and an individual piece of hershey's chocolate.

Sunday, March 08, 2015

You make me laugh..

A: did you have a good nap?
B: no I couldn't fall asleep.
A:  you were snoring. A lot.
B: no. I was just breathing.
A: you were snoring so loud that I couldn't sleep. For at least  an hour.
B:  huh. Yeah I need a other nap. Since I didn't get any sleep.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Just another day...

Little A:  Mom. Mom. Mom. I have an injury. A bad one. It's really bad. Look. My nose really hurts. Right here. 
Me: it's dry. Go have dad give you your medicine. 
Little A: that stuff tastes terrible. You'll never take me alive!  (He runs away screaming.)

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Conversations where I beat my head against a wall.

J where do you want us to take you to eat on Mother's Day?
Me: I'd really like Sushi. 
J: ...

The day before Mother's Day, while we're sitting at J's favorite diner

J: did you decide where you want to go for Mother's Day? 
Me: somewhere that has sushi. 
J: but I don't like sushi. 
Me: I don't like diner food. 
J: ?

Theyll probably take me to eat at the diner for Mother's Day. Know what I really want? For someone else to do the dishes that are currently piled in the sink. And I want to sleep in tomorrow. The kids asked what I want for Mother's Day and I was very specific. I even had them repeat it back to me. :-) I told then I wanted to go to the natural history museum, or go drive up the mountain or go for a hike.  We'll probably watch tv. And I'll probably still get diner food. Or pizza. My babies love pizza. But they'll hug me and snuggle me and that will be the best present of all...