I don’t feel strong.

Someone posted this video on Facebook and it made me cry. I don’t want to be in this
club.  No mom wants to be in the “sick kids” club.

As of today.

16- the number  of foods she tested positive for on allergy tests.
7- the amount of times she’s injected herself with an epipen. (It hurts. Her thigh is covered in bruises. )
6- the number of daily prescription medications she’s currently taking.
3- the number of times her school has called 911 for her.
2-3 the amount of times I generally speak to her doctor each week.
1 the number of times she was given epinephrine in the allergy department.

I hold it together and stay strong when she’s with me. But when I’m at home. And I see the school on my caller ID and they say she  just took her epipen. Someone is  on the phone with 911 right now, I lose it. I cry all the way to school.

The first time the paramedics  came she was doing great when I got there.  (Thanks to the epipens and paramedics.)  I thought I had it together.  and then I saw the fire truck. The ambulance. The principal outside waiting for me. The firemen and paramedics surrounding her and I wasn’t as calm.  She hugged me. She comforted me. Every other time I’ve got it together before I get out of the car. She’s stressed enough. She doesn’t need to worry about me too.

I