Monday, June 26, 2006

Amelia's Creed

I stole this from Tasha's blog, but it's sooooo true.


If it's on, I must turn it off.
If it's off, I must turn it on.
If it's folded, I must unfold it.

If it's high, it must be reached.
If it's shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it's pointed, it must be fun with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it's plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it's not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it's in the trash, it must be removed, inspected,
And thrown on the floor.
If it's closed, it must be opened.
If it doesn't open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it's a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator,
Computer monitor, or table.
If it's full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it's empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it's a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it's a stroller, it must under no circumstances be
Ridden in without protest and must be pushed by me Instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must
Walk alone.
If it's paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it's YOUR toothbrush, it must be inserted into MY
If it's MY toothbrush, it must be inserted into YOUR
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full
If it's a phone, I must talk into it, unless there is
Someone on the other end.
If it's a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it's not food, it must be tasted.
If it's food, it must NOT be tasted.
If it has a tail, I must yank it.
If Mommy wants me to come, I must run away.
If Mommy wants me to go away, I must CLING ON FOR DEAR LIFE.
If it's sticky, it must go in my hair.
If it's bath time, I must run around naked until I'm