I feel like a Mommy sandwich...

Too many people are residing in my bed at the moment. It's 4 AM and I just snuck away because I can't sleep. Jeff is curled up on one edge of the bed. He is snoring like crazy. Poor guy. Exactly three milimeters from Jeff is Amelia. She has this thing about sleeping practically on top of us lately. She starts off in her own bed in her own room, and as often as not, she has made her way to our room by morning. I could probably close our door at night, then she wouldn't hear Anthony fussing when he wants to be fed. But then I'd worry that she would need me and I wouldn't hear her. So next to Amelia (who if she is not on top of one of us is sleeing sideways with her head in Jeff's back and her feet in my face) is my spot. And next to that is the bassinet.

Unfortunately tonight, Anthony wants to be like his sister and sleep on top of Mommy or Daddy. Since Jeff has to work, I get nighttime baby duty, and I am up every hour or so with him. I spend 15 minutes or so feeding him. Then he falls asleep. I sit there completely still waiting for him to be really asleep. After 10 minutes he's usually really out and I can transfer him to his bed. Once he's in his bed one of two things can happen. One is he wakes up completely and we start over again, although then the feeding is usually less than five minutes. The other is he fusses and squirms and wiggles for a minute, then drifts off to sleep again. I pat his back and speak to him in a soft soothing voice hoping he'll choose the latter. So far tonight he has chosen the first one numerous times, and the latter only once. Occasionally I will drift off to sleep with him curled up in my arms. I never sleep soundly though, although he sleeps wonderfully when he is all snuggled up. I will never completely understand people who truly enjoy co sleeping. I can never sleep well when my children are in my bed. I am constantly on edge, waking up regularly to make sure they are okay.


So it's nearly 5 AM now and everyone, including the cat, is asleep in my bed except me. I guess I should go join them.